Some time ago a man came to the clergyman of a country parish and
arranged with him to have the banns of marriage called in church for the
three following Sundays. On the first Sunday the banns were called, but
on the Monday morning the prospective bridegroom turned up at the
Vicarage, and, on being shown into the parson's study, the following
dialogue took place:
"I've come, zir, to see yu 'bout that there
"Is there any difficulty?" inquired the parson.
"Well, zir," replied the rustic Lothario, "ef et
dawn't make no defference to yu, I've a changed my mind, like, and have
a tuk up wi' another vemale - shan't have noan but she - the first wan't
du 'tall. Dawn't 'ee raid out they there banns no more."
"This is very sudden," said the parson.
"Iss, zir, tes sudent, but I be ter'ble set upon this yer other
wumman, an' dawn't keer a button 'bout t'other. But ther's wan thing I
du want to ax 'ee, zir, ef I bain't troublin' of 'ee."
"What is it, my man?"
"Well, zir, 'tes 'bout they there banns, zir, what have bin raid
out in church. I've a paid 'ee half-a-crownd already, and that's a brave bit 'o money. I'd want to know ef I shall have
tu pay 'ee any
more ef I do take up wi' this yer second vemale?"
"Why, of course, " replied the parson. "You are
upsetting the former arrangements entirely, and if you really persist in
your idea of marrying this other woman of whom you speak, all your
previous legal formalities will be null and void."
"An' if I had fresh banns draed out 'tween me and thicky
what I do love zo well, shud I have to pay 'ee again for they?"
"Most certainly. You cannot play fast and loose in such a
serious business as this", replied the parson, with a touch of
severity in his voice.
"Aw, dear, dear, I never thought o' that," replied the
distracted swain, t'wixt love and finance torn. "Zimmen to me, zir,
there's a ter'ble lot of vuss an' expense bevaur a man can get hitched
up to a vemale. However," continued he, "I've a paid my half-crownd,
and I baint gwain to pay no more. It do go ter'ble agin the grain
to throw away gude money, zo ef yu plaize, zir, us'll let things bide as
they was avore."
With thanks to Gregory Harris
We wish all family members,
readers and contributors a very happy and prosperous year in 2008.
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